I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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