Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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