oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
My vagina is officially offended.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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