I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
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I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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