I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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