I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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