So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
barbara walters just said penis...
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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