Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize