saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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