I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
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