that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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