I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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