Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize