i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
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I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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