Barsexuality is the new black.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize