Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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