Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize