Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize