Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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