I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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