Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize