You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize