is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
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While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
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You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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