I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize