Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize