Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
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