Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize