some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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