someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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