and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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