best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
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