Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize