I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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