That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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