we're chasing vodka with high fives
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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