Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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