Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
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He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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