so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
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He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
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I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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