Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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