When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
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He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
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Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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