We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize