As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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