He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Randomize