you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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