I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize