Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(614): View more from Ohio

youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?

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(614): youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right? http://tfl.nu/3ekq

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(954): View more from Florida

Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...

(1-954): View more from Florida

Is this the gay conversation?

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(954): Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me... (1-954): Is this the gay conversation? http://tfl.nu/4777

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(661): View more from California

Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC

(831): View more from California

Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.

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(661): Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC (831): Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown. http://tfl.nu/up2g

Replies (43) Good night (9926) Bad night (723)
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(317): View more from Indiana

when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single

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(317): when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single http://tfl.nu/ybly

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(310): View more from California

the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.

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(310): the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him. http://tfl.nu/jidd

Replies (27) Good night (6833) Bad night (1420) Order T-Shirt
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(541): View more from Oregon

I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.

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(541): I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk. http://tfl.nu/yadf

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(+06): View more from

it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..

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(+06): it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever.. http://tfl.nu/huu2

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(856): View more from New Jersey

The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand

(1-856): View more from New Jersey

We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?

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(856): The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand (1-856): We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh? http://tfl.nu/4r62

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(541): View more from Oregon

To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.

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(541): To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever. http://tfl.nu/9nwk

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(443): View more from Maryland

I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.

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(443): I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand. http://tfl.nu/0bxb

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(618): View more from Illinois

So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?

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(618): So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date? http://tfl.nu/zipl

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!

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(918): Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter! http://tfl.nu/uf3h

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(703): View more from Virginia

So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this

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(703): So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this http://tfl.nu/pt0i

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(416): View more from Toronto

BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.

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(416): BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT. http://tfl.nu/cryj

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.

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(617): Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present. http://tfl.nu/s10t

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