she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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