I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize