I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
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What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
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I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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