dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
the day after is always just damage control
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
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